That moment never came. It's not here now either, but writing tends to clear my head so here's hoping.
I mostly want to write for 3 hours about how much harder this whole thing is than I anticipated. But all that will do is remind me of how miserable I am. So forget that. I'm just going to talk about what's going on and try to remind myself of the positives.
I'm still taking 2 pain pills (& 2 Benadryl for the itching) every 4 hours. I tried to stretch it out to every 6 hours yesterday, but my body definitely isn't ready for that. Since I need to be med-free by this weekend (because J is leaving for training), we are going to try weaning me down to 1 pill every 4 hours tomorrow. I'm hoping that will work. I'm never actually feeling pain-free at this point, which I wasn't anticipating. It's not so bad that I can't handle it though and I'm ok if I don't move. And the good news is that there is only one tiny area that is showing any sign of fresh bleeding. Three cheers for quick healing!
My thighs hurt more than anything else, but the pain has switched from the suture lines to more of an overall soreness. I'm guessing that is because of the liposuction they did? I have to tell you though that I walked down the hallway without my ace bandages last night and I was in LOVE with how little they jiggled. Woot! I needed to experience that because right now it's tough to remember why in the hell I put my body through this.
I talked to my friend K and she said the swelling peaked around weeks 2-3 for her, and then it started to subside. If my math is correct, I've already put on about 12 pounds of water. I'm hoping I'm peaking now. It is kind of fun watching how the ace bandages affect the swelling in my thighs. It's much like a balloon thats been twisted in the middle and then untwisted. And the bruising? Gorgeous. Haha.
I thought I would have absolutely no problem just laying (lying?) around doing nothing, but it turns out that when you have to do that, you don't want to do that. Damn, I'm such a rebel. My mind is too foggy to really focus on watching TV or reading a book, so I just mostly zone out if I'm not sleeping. J has loved the TV bit though because we've never had sports on for so many hours in a row. I don't have it in me to bitch about watching ESPN 24 hours a day because nothing else sounds interesting either. He's earned it anyway. The dude moved the recliner next to the couch so we can sleep "side by side" when I'm sure the bed would be much better for him. I love that guy. I know he's nearing the "caregiver burnout" portion of recovery, but he's dealing with it well.
Speaking of the recovery cycle, my surgeon's office included this paper in the packet they gave me.
I wish that it wasn't cut off because I'd like to read the rest of it. The gist though is that I'm supposed to be a hot mess this week, and I'm definitely right on track with that. Maybe by this weekend I'll be on the upswing.
Another weird thing I'm experiencing is the lack of strength in my right arm. I mentioned that it felt heavy the other day and my right thumb was numb, but now I can't even flex it at all. I can flex my left arm just fine. So odd!
As far as eating, I'm really struggling with that. I've never experienced this little of an appetite. And of course it's at a time when I absolutely NEED to eat. J picked up some protein powder today though so we can do protein smoothies. I have trouble choking down food, but drinking is much easier. I have made the mistake of "listening" to my body the past few days and only eating when I felt hungry. BIG mistake. I let myself get so hungry that I nearly passed out when I stood up. So now I'm just trying to shove food down my throat every few hours no matter what. And now that I think about it, I always feel a ton better after I've eaten. Maybe that's why I'm feeling so rotten?
I think I'm doing okay at drinking water, but I haven't been monitoring it so I can't be sure. I need to start doing that. I would assume that drinking more water could only help with my swelling?
I'm walking faster than I have been, but I'm still hunched over. I know that's normal though, so I'm not stressing too much. I'm just not sure how long it'll last?
The babies are home now from camping with Grandma and Grandpa. They had a blast and it's nice having activity again in the house. They are so cute and worried about me. I just keep reassuring them that Mommy won't act like this forever. I think I'm much more worried about traumatizing them than they are. We've been talking about this surgery for months so it seems to be no big deal to them. And now I have 3 more little helpers to get me water! :)
Man, this post ended up being a huge whine-fest. But when it comes down to it, I know that the swelling, pain, and foggy brain will all pass. And then I'll be left with the rewards. (I love those moments when I picture myself post-recovery!) I'll also be left with a gigantic reminder that I'm surrounded by so many supportive people. I'm feeling pretty selfish and like I have no right to complain. But the people around me are treating me like it's okay for this to not be all rainbows and unicorns simply because I chose to have this surgery. Thanks to all of you (online and IRL) for being those people - you totally rock. Oh, and I also really anticipated getting some negative comments after sharing such graphic & non-flattering photos in my last post. Instead, I only received kind words. I'm a lucky gal.
I'm really pale and sickly looking but here is the best smile I could muster for you in appreciation! I probably have stuff stuck between my teeth...just ignore that.
I'm happy to report that this post worked just as intended. I was able to get out all of my negative thoughts, and now I'm reminded why I wanted this surgery so badly. I just need to be patient. Things are really going swimmingly so far. Thanks for reading. I wish I could have written this post so it doesn't sound like I'm totally drugged up, buuuuuuuut apparently that isn't possible. ;)